My lifestyle changed radically in the past year. At Baylor University, I was a human “do-er,” not a human being. Struggling with intense perfectionism, I had to be perfect in order to be respected and liked. I tried to impress my peers and professors and professionals. I couldn’t fathom letting anyone down. My repetitive insomnia … More Daily Dose of Life: On Freedom, Fulfillment & Function
Andiamo is an important word for me. While studying abroad in Italy two summers ago, I truly learned how to rest in God’s presence. Thousands of miles from home, with only a handful of friends and my measly Italian, I often sat with God and explored my new city alone. One of our tour guides, … More Andiamo, Let’s Go!
Perfectionism is the bane of my existence. Or one of them. Others include $5 cappuccinos here v. 2 euros ones in Italy, and calculating tips for servers and baristas. I stopped taking math at 18 so it’s been a while. When I was younger, I always feared failing. I was a timid follower, a shy … More Human v. Heroine: On Perfectionism
When I was in second grade, my parents and I went to England. We visited Nana and Big Daddy, who were living in Middlesborough at the time, as Dr. Charles Van (my Big Daddy) served as an interim pastor for a church there. It was my first experience traveling abroad and instilled this insatiable wanderlust … More Mind the Gap
I suffer from terrible insomnia. Growing up, I was a great sleeper. I was notorious for sleeping well past noon on Saturdays — which I now regret, as I see it as a waste of half a day…but at the time, it was so, so nice. When I hit college, around my freshman summer, I … More I’m Wide Awake: On Insomnia & Anxiety
I’ve always been a writer. I’m not sure why or what for, but I truly do feel called to create. God’s instilled this utter need and craving in me to process externally through paper and pen — or keys and screen — to communicate well, effectively and with passion. It’s never been hard. It’s always … More Call Me Creative
You allowed me to be diagnosed with bipolar disorder on March 18, 2016. My mom asked me if I was mad at You. I wasn’t. Anger is a natural response to a wrongdoing — to something not going your way, to someone betraying you. Somehow during my diagnosis and depression, I never shook my fists … More Dear God, You Wrecked Me